By Malynn Kuangparichat, Psy.D., J.D.

Over the years, I’ve encountered my own share of transitions and change. But one of the biggest changes of my life was when I moved from the Midwest to the East Coast. I grew up in a small town, so my family was fairly recognizable within the community. But for college, I went the entirely opposite direction, and ended up in New York City, living in Manhattan. Suddenly, I was a small fish in a very large pond.

Finding myself in NYC meant I had to establish new connections and new friendships. And though I was excited to live in NYC, the transition brought up feelings of discomfort because there was so much newness and unknown.

But I got through the initial discomfort of leaving the known world of my childhood and establishing myself by focusing on the positives of the situation, and the potential future I had in front of me. 

Reflecting back, I can see this was a coping strategy I used to support myself through one of the biggest transitions of my life.

Life is full of transitions, and though we wish we could be immune to them because of the stress factor, change is inevitable. Fortunately, we can find beauty in both the exciting transitions like starting a new job or the more difficult transitions like taking care of our aging parents. For me, it was a big move from the Midwest to the East Coast.

Some common life transitions that we support our clients with at CCWB are:

• Moving to college
• Transitioning into parenthood
• Navigating a career change
• Revealing an identity change
• Settling into a new place or returning from overseas
• Hitting a milestone birthday
• Managing a new marriage or relationship
• Loss of family member or friend
• Divorce, separation, or recovering from infidelity 

While going through a life transition, you may notice more stress and feelings of fear, anxiety, and anger. You may find yourself pacing, withdrawing from others, irritability, and difficulty sleeping. This is completely normal, so be gentle and kind to yourself through the life change.

Remember that stress is a signal from your body, and a response from your nervous system. You can remind yourself you’re feeling stressed in a life transition because you’re anxious about the unknown. For difficult transitions, you may wonder why this is happening to you, and feel a sense of disorientation, purposelessness, and feeling out of place.

It’s okay to not be okay.

First, you can give yourself space to put more awareness around how you’re feeling. You may naturally want to ignore the feeling or push through it, but instead, consider acknowledging how you’re feeling.

Then, allow yourself to feel how you’re feeling. Thank your body for providing signals for you, and follow these tips to manage your stress during a life transition.

7 Helpful Tips to Support You in Managing Stress

When I moved from a small town in Missouri to New York City, I was able to use a couple coping strategies to help me through the big transition: finding the positive of a situation and thinking into the future.

To help you manage the stress of a move, relationship, or any type of transition, I curated this list as a helpful guide, and please remember that the content in our blog doesn’t constitute a clinical relationship or replace the need for professional services. 

Reach out to your primary care physician or a professional mental health care provider in your area to support you in your well-being needs.

Tap Into Your 5 Senses

To help ground yourself for this exercise, pay attention to your breath. Take a few deep in and out breaths, and notice how the air feels coming into your nose and out of your mouth. Once you’ve breathed in and out a few cycles, follow this 5-4-3-2-1 coping technique:

5: Notice five things you see in your space like the bookshelf, a cup, or pen.

4: Notice four things you can touch in your surroundings. It could be your arm, a cushion, or wiggle your toes and notice how the ground feels.

3: Notice three things you can hear, such as the ticking of a clock, a bird singing outside, or the tapping of keys on a computer.

2: Notice two things you can smell in your space. It might be the smell of a sweater or pillow. You could take a quick walk inside or outside to notice two things you can smell.

1: Notice one thing you can taste. What do you taste on your tongue? Can you still taste the coffee or tea or breakfast from the morning?

Think of Past Experiences

Sometimes it’s helpful to put your experience into perspective by thinking about another time you experienced a change. You may find it encouraging to remember different life transitions and how you got through it. 

Movement

Moving your body is a helpful strategy to manage stress as it can increase your feel-good endorphins, improve your mood, and help you relax. Movement can be anything like going for a walk, running, or yoga.

Reach Out to a Friend

Call a trusted friend who is available to chat with you. Having a casual conversation about updates in your life, and processing how you’re feeling can help you manage the stress you’re feeling. If your friend is emotionally unable at the moment to support you for this type of conversation, that’s okay, too. Find someone you trust to lend a listening ear.

Journal into the Future

Get out your journal and write about how your life transition can lead to other experiences that benefit your life. Focus on the possibilities and positive outcomes. If that’s difficult to do, you can write about a previous life transition and how it led to other experiences that benefited your life.

Breathing Practices

There are many different types of breathing practices, such as 4-7-8 breathing, 4-2-6 breathing, or lion’s breath, to manage your stress or anxiety. These calming breath patterns or breaths tend to calm your nervous system and can reduce the stress hormones in the blood.

You can find these breathing techniques on apps like Headspace or Calm app which also provide a calming visual to help you breathe in and out with the counts.

Meditate

Research shows that mindfulness meditation can reduce stress, and improve your well-being. Meditation takes consistency and commitment, but you may notice your stress level decrease by just starting with a daily 10 minute guided meditation to bring attention to your thoughts and accepting your thoughts non-judgmentally.

In addition to these 7 tips, here are two more strategies that I’ve used during big transitions in my life:

Change the Internal Dialogue

When you’re experiencing a transition, your brain automatically kicks into gear with doubts and it’s easy to spiral into a storm of negative thinking. But remember, you have the power and choice to respond in a different manner, and change your internal dialogue from negative to positive. 

The first thing is to notice without judging what kind of thoughts are surfacing, and then reframe to notice the positives of the situation. With practice, you’ll find yourself having a better awareness of your thoughts, and changing the internal dialogue to manage stress and anxiety.

Personally, I’ve had to change my internal dialogue recently as my husband transitions from being at home with the kids (for the last 9 years) and supporting me with reaching my career goals to opening up a doughnut shop right here in Kennett Square. As I experience the transition, I think about what misstep I’m going to make that I can laugh about in the future. I make it okay to stumble. And I know that eventually I’ll get through this, and I’ll survive it and I’ll find my new rhythm. 

Accept Help From Others

As much as we’d like to think we can handle it all on our own, you can’t handle a transition in isolation. When I moved to NYC, I accepted help from others. You can’t do it by yourself. I’m very grateful for the people who surrounded me and offered their support when I made that move to New York City.

I’m also grateful for the people who currently see me in the community trying to wrangle three very energetic kids as my husband prepares to open up the doughnut shop, and stopping to offer any support or help.

Reach Out For Professional Support

For many of us, life transitions can feel like the rug has been pulled out from under our feet. It’s not a pleasant feeling, but transitions in life, whether work, relationship, or move are all a part of life. Using customized tools and techniques for your unique life transition can help manage your stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. I hope you know it’s okay to not be okay. And, just know that this feeling of discomfort is temporary and it will pass.

If you’re currently going through a life transition, and would like to be equipped with tools, techniques, and strategies to manage stress, please contact us. Here at CCWB, we value our clients and acknowledge the courage it takes to seek professional mental health support. We’re here to help.

*Disclaimer: The contents of this blog does not constitute a clinical relationship or replace the need for professional services. 

Contact Us

Here at CCWB, we value our clients and acknowledge the courage it takes to seek professional mental health support.

Chester County Well-Being (CCWB) provides a range of mental health services to ensure we meet our community’s needs. We serve individuals, couples, and families in the Chester County area. Reach out to us here.

Our specializations include:

• Stress Management
• Therapy for Depression and Anxiety
• Grief Counseling
• Work and Career issues
• Conflict Resolution
• Couples Counseling
• Family Counseling
• Parenting Support
• Addiction & Recovery

Teletherapy

All our clinicians provide safe and secure teletherapy sessions to anyone residing in PA. Additionally, we provide telehealth options for residents of other states, depending on the clinician. Simply head to our About Us page, and click each clinician’s “read more” tab for telehealth details.

Telepsychology services are provided by Dr. Kuangparichat and Dr. Stern to clients who reside in a state that participates in PSYPACT. Find out if your state is on the list of participating states HERE.

Follow Us

You can learn more about self-care, self-compassion, and mental health insights by following us on Facebook and Instagram.

About the Author

Malynn Kuangparichat, Psy.D., J.D. is founder and psychologist at Chester County Well-Being.  

She has a collaborative approach that results in highly tailored evaluations intended to meet her clients’ unique needs. She focuses on an individual’s strengths, which are integrated in the practical, personalized recommendations identified by the findings of an evaluation. 

In her free time, she enjoys running, spending time with family and friends, and getting ice cream or doughnuts from the local shops.