By Malynn Kuangparichat, Psy.D., J.D.
Not long ago, I wrote about how to manage stress and be kinder to yourself in life’s many transitions. I mentioned one of my biggest life transitions, moving from the Midwest to nyc for college. Most recently, our family is going through a significant transition as my husband closes a chapter as full-time caretaker of our kids to open up a doughnut shop right here in Kennett Square.
For the past nine years, my husband has been at home with the kids and supporting me with reaching my career goals. Now it’s his time to step forward and achieve his own professional goals.
But it’s been difficult at times.
I’ve always had the luxury of having a flexible schedule so I was available whenever my clients needed me. Now, I have to check that family calendar because I, of course, don’t want to accidentally leave a kid abandoned, or unsupervised somewhere.
But more importantly, is working together as a family team, to communicate, to make sure that our needs are still being met, to make sure that we still feel supported by one another.
Change is hard, but it can be a good thing.
My husband likes to joke that he wishes he could have a fourth child instead of a doughnut shop. Because that role of a parent is familiar to him. It’s easy for him to go into that role.
It’s much more challenging to take on that new role of business owner.
Whenever I think about all the changes and transitions I’ve gone through, there’s one thing that stands out to me.
Anytime I go through a new experience, I change that internal dialogue.
I think about what misstep am I going to make that I can laugh about in the future. I make it okay to stumble. And I know that eventually I’ll get through this, and I’ll survive it and I’ll find my new rhythm.
This is where positive affirmations come into play.
For instance, to get through the initial discomfort of leaving the known world of my childhood and establishing myself in nyc, I focused on the positives of the situation, the potential future I had in front of me.
With the opening of our doughnut shop, I changed my internal dialogue to help me get through the discomforts of change, reframing negative thoughts into positive ones.
Benefits of Using Daily Positive Affirmations
There are many benefits to practicing positive self-affirmation on a daily basis including overcoming a fear, reducing self-sabotage, and feeling less stress. Speaking or seeing positive affirmations throughout your day can help you get unstuck and learn a new skill, improve your relationships, and be more effective and purposeful at work.
Rewire Your Brain With Positive Affirmations
Practicing positive affirmations isn’t about denying the challenges you’re going through, or forcing yourself to be positive without addressing the underlying issues.
It’s about replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk because your thoughts become your actions. If you can address your current challenge, issue, or difficulty, then you can change the internal dialogue which positively affects the way you see yourself and, thus, your actions.
When you’re thinking, whether positive or negative thoughts, the billions of neurons in your brain send electrical impulses via pathways in your brain.
So thinking the same thing strengthens certain neuron’s pathways. Since certain pathways are strengthened, it’s easy to fall into the same pattern of thinking.
When you practice positive affirmations, you disrupt negative thought patterns and create new pathways in your brain for positive thoughts.
How to Create the Right Positive Affirmation For Your Situation
I mention this quite often, but knowing your core values helps to direct your thinking. Your values are like signposts to help you make decisions and take action that aligns with what’s most important to you.
If you know your core values, then notice your thoughts in a challenging situation that you’re having right now. You’ll want to analyze why you’re thinking that way.
Is it your belief or someone else’s?
How has this thinking served you in the past?
How is this thought serving you now?
Awareness is the first step, so don’t be hard on yourself for noticing these negative thoughts.
From here, you can change your internal dialogue by reframing with a positive self-affirmation. Either you can create your own positive affirmation or find one that fits your situation.
The best affirmations are ones that you come up with on your own, instead of generic affirmations, that is specifically tailored to you, your situation, and thinking.
It is helpful to get guidance from a professional therapist, counselor, or coach to bring awareness to your internal dialogue and collaborate on affirmations that work for you.
As a starting off point, you can use any of these positive affirmations as a place to begin:
- I am strong.
- I trust myself.
- I am loved.
- I am worthy.
- I am enough right now.
- I inhale peace and exhale worry.
- My body is my ally.
- I love myself.
- I let go of control and focus on joy.
- I choose joy.
- In this moment, I am safe and protected.
If a positive affirmation doesn’t feel quite right, you can add ‘ing’ to the verb to allow yourself to see that changing your internal dialogue is a process, not a destination.
- I am getting stronger.
- I am learning to trust myself.
- I am letting go of control.
- I am choosing joy.
How to Receive Your Affirmations on a Daily Basis
There’s power in how you see, hear, and feel your self-affirmations throughout the day. You can write it on a sticky note and put it somewhere visible in the bathroom, door, or on your computer monitor. You can make it into a daily reminder in your smartphone, so it pops up any time you look at your phone home screen.
In addition, hearing yourself say your positive affirmation aloud is a powerful practice. Consider recording yourself saying your affirmations in a voice memo on your phone, and play it back to yourself when you’re driving to work, dropping off the kids, cleaning the dishes, or going out for a walk.
You can also combine reciting your positive affirmation with meditation, mindfulness, or movement. Doing this can help you honor the way your body is feeling toward your thoughts. For instance, when you say a positive affirmation, notice if you feel it somewhere in your body, possibly in your chest, stomach, head, shoulders, or neck. Now, notice how your body feels, whether it’s a tightening, swirling, or pulsing feeling. Listen to what your body is saying to you, and allow it to process through your reframe.
Get Therapy to Empower Your Well-Being
Another key takeaway from the big transitions in my life, from my big move to nyc and settling into a new rhythm of life with the opening of my husband’s doughnut shop, is that we’re not meant to struggle alone. For the challenges I faced in each transition, I’m grateful for the people who supported me along the way.
You don’t need to journey alone. For many of life’s challenges, you can seek professional mental health support to empower your journey to well-being.
At CCWB, we’re a client-centered therapy practice with caring and compassionate clinicians who provide a strength-based approach so you can manage your stress, anxiety, or depression in a safe space.
*Disclaimer: The contents of this blog does not constitute a clinical relationship or replace the need for professional services.
Contact Us
Here at CCWB, we value our clients and acknowledge the courage it takes to seek professional mental health support.
Chester County Well-Being (CCWB) provides a range of mental health services to ensure we meet our community’s needs. We serve individuals, couples, and families in the Chester County area. Reach out to us here.
Our specializations include:
- Stress Management
- Addiction & Recovery
- Therapy for Depression and Anxiety
- Conflict Resolution
- Couples Counseling
- Family Counseling
- Parenting Support
- Work and Career issues
- Grief Counseling
Teletherapy
All our clinicians provide safe and secure teletherapy sessions to anyone residing in PA. Additionally, we provide telehealth options for residents of other states, depending on the clinician. Simply head to our About Us page, and click each clinician’s “read more” tab for telehealth details.
Telepsychology services are provided by Dr. Kuangparichat and Dr. Stern to clients who reside in a state that participates in PSYPACT. Find out if your state is on the list of participating states HERE.
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About the Author
Malynn Kuangparichat, Psy.D., J.D. is founder and psychologist at Chester County Well-Being.
She has a collaborative approach that results in highly tailored evaluations intended to meet her clients’ unique needs. She focuses on an individual’s strengths, which are integrated in the practical, personalized recommendations identified by the findings of an evaluation.
In her free time, she enjoys running, spending time with family and friends, and getting ice cream or doughnuts from the local shops.