By Malynn Kuangparichat, Psy.D., J.D.
You’ve always been the student who said yes to everything — every group project, every favor, every request from a friend or family member. You never quite understood why, but it worked. People liked you. Things felt manageable.
Then you get to college, and everything feels…different.
I know this feeling firsthand. I grew up in a small town in Missouri where my family was fairly recognizable within the community. For college, I went the entirely opposite direction — and ended up in New York City, living in Manhattan. Suddenly, I was a small fish in a very large pond.
The familiar structure that had held everything in place, specifically my family, my hometown, the people who had known me for years, was gone. In its place was so much newness, so much unknown. Finding myself in NYC meant establishing new connections and new friendships from scratch. And though I was genuinely excited, the transition brought up real feelings of discomfort that I hadn’t anticipated.
What I didn’t fully understand at the time was that those feelings weren’t a sign that something was wrong. They were a sign that I was growing, and that the old patterns I’d relied on were being quietly put to the test.
Without that scaffolding, the ways we’ve always moved through the world start to show up in sharp relief. You’re exhausted from over-committing. You’re anxious in ways you can’t quite name. You’re wondering, maybe for the first time, why you keep responding to the world the way you do.
This is one of the most disorienting parts of the college transition — and one of the most important.
That’s why I’d like to introduce you to the psychological framework known as Adlerian Psychology which offers a powerful, forward-looking lens for exactly this moment for you.
Before we get into it, I actually came across Adlerian Psychology (not to be confused with Alderaan, the home planet of Princess Leia – yes, I’m a Star Wars fan, although I may not be as knowledgeable about it as my husband) while a student at NYU, and it so happens that the Alfred Adler Institute is just a stone’s throw away from NYU in Soho.
When I discovered Adlerian’s foundational principles, I found myself drawn to its encouraging, positive, and collaborative nature. Adlerian Psych doesn’t ask you to spend years excavating your childhood. Instead, it asks a more immediate question: What is your behavior serving right now? And more importantly, is it still working for you?
So…What’s Adlerian Psychology?
Alfred Adler was an Austrian physician and psychologist who broke away from Sigmund Freud to develop his own school of thought, called Individual Psychology. Where Freud focused heavily on unconscious drives and the past, Adler believed something fundamentally different: that people are social beings, motivated at their core by a desire for belonging, community connection, and the drive to overcome feelings of inferiority.
That last part might surprise you. Most of us think of “inferiority” as something to be ashamed of. Adler flipped that idea entirely by arguing that the universal experience of feeling “not enough” is actually one of our most powerful motivators for growth.
At the heart of Adlerian Psychology is a concept called Gemeinschaftsgefühl, or social interest — the belief that true mental health and happiness aren’t rooted in personal achievement alone, but in meaningful contribution to the people and community around us. In other words, real well-being is relational. It’s less about “me” and more about “we.”
Adler also championed an equal, collaborative relationship between therapist and client — not an expert treating a patient, but two people working side by side. This laid much of the groundwork for the client-centered approaches we use today at CCWB, Chester County Well-Being.
Why College Is a Turning Point for Self-Awareness
The transition to college is one of the most significant life changes a young person will navigate. And while there’s often excitement in that newness, there’s also real discomfort because when the familiar is stripped away, what’s left is you. Specifically, your patterns, your default responses, and your deeply ingrained ways of moving through the world.
Looking back on my own move from Missouri to Manhattan, I can see that the coping strategy I leaned on most was focusing on the positives and thinking into the future. It helped me get through the initial discomfort of leaving everything I knew. But it also kept me from sitting with some of the harder questions — questions about why certain situations rattled me, why I responded to pressure the way I did, what I was actually carrying from home.
Those questions didn’t need to be answered urgently. But they were there. And the distance from my familiar world is what finally made them visible.
This is exactly when those patterns become visible, often for the very first time.
Adlerian Psychology teaches that many of our behaviors develop in childhood as coping strategies — ways of navigating our early environments that made complete sense at the time. Maybe you became the high achiever to earn approval. Maybe you learned to make yourself small to avoid conflict. Maybe you developed anxiety as a signal system in an unpredictable home.
First, know that these aren’t flaws to be criticized. They’re adaptations, and we can acknowledge them, thank them for keeping you safe, and letting these old patterns know that they no longer serve you.
But here’s what often happens in college: the original environment is gone, and the behavior stays. You’re no longer in the situation that required those strategies, but you’re still running them (usually on autopilot!).
Common patterns that surface during the college years include:
- Perfectionism that tips into paralysis
- People-pleasing that leads to burnout and resentment
- Anxiety that feels disconnected from any clear cause
- Difficulty asking for help, even when help is available and needed
- Conflict avoidance that quietly damages relationships
Adlerian Psychology doesn’t ask you to pathologize any of these. Instead, it asks one simple question: What purpose is this behavior serving? That question, known in Adlerian terms as teleology, is often the beginning of real insight.
The 5 Core Adlerian Principles, Through a College Lens
At CCWB, we use five core Adlerian principles as a roadmap for understanding behavior and moving toward change. Here’s how each one speaks directly to the college experience:
Teleology: Every behavior has a purpose. If you’re constantly saying yes to everyone, there’s a reason. Maybe it keeps conflict at bay. Maybe it gives you a sense of worth. Therapy helps you get curious about what that behavior is protecting, so you can decide if you still need that protection.
Focus on the Here and Now. You don’t need to spend months unpacking your entire childhood. The Adlerian approach asks: what’s happening in your life this semester? What’s working, and what isn’t? This makes therapy feel accessible and actionable, especially for students who are already managing a lot.
Recognizing Choice. You didn’t choose your family dynamics, your early environment, or the experiences that shaped you. But you do have agency over how you respond today, for example, to your roommate conflict, your academic pressure, your social anxiety. Recognizing that agency is genuinely empowering.
The Anxiety of Change. Here’s something important to normalize: change is uncomfortable. Most of the time, it’s easier to stay in familiar patterns, even painful or unhelpful ones, simply because they’re known. Change is part of our human experience, and feeling squeamish in the change also signals that you’re human. So, naming this anxiety is part of the process.
The Courage to Change. Adlerian therapy emphasizes the principle that distress doesn’t have to be a permanent part of your identity. The good thing is, the discomfort of growth is temporary. And when you find the courage to let go of an old pattern and replace it with something that actually fits who you’re becoming, that shift is meaningful in a way that lasts.
The Quiet Struggle of College Life
One of the quieter struggles of college life is the feeling that everyone else has it figured out. Whether you’re scrolling on Tik Tok, Instagram, or any other social media space, it’s easy to develop an inner framework that you’re the only one who doesn’t have it together. But we all have our struggles and our moments of discomfort. And we all make mistakes.
Adlerian Psychology, and our approach at CCWB, holds space for a different truth: mistakes don’t define you. Struggling doesn’t mean you’re falling behind. Imperfection isn’t a character flaw. It’s quite literally a part of being human.
It’s okay to not be okay.
What matters is that you don’t have to navigate it alone. Whether that’s leaning on a trusted friend, connecting with a campus counseling center, or working with a therapist, seeking support doesn’t make you “the worst” and it doesn’t make you a failure. It’s one of the most courageous things you can do, and it’s exactly what Adler had in mind when he talked about the healing power of connection.
What This Looks Like in Therapy
If you’re curious about what Adlerian-informed therapy actually looks like in a session, it doesn’t feel like being analyzed or told what to do. It’s collaborative — a genuine partnership where your therapist holds space for you to get curious about your own patterns, not through judgment, but through exploration.
At CCWB, we often describe this as helping clients find your story. Because when you understand why you’ve been showing up the way you have — and you realize you get to choose something different — that insight belongs to you. And the changes you make from that place tend to stick.
This approach also draws on the client-centered and strength-based therapies that are foundational to our work. The goal isn’t to “fix” you. It’s to help you recognize the resourcefulness and resilience you already carry — and give you better tools to access it.
You’re in the Right Place, Right Now
The college years are hard. They’re also a remarkable window for self-discovery, and a time when the distance from your childhood home gives you, perhaps for the first time, a real view of yourself. I got through my own transition to New York City one coping strategy at a time, leaning on the people around me and slowly learning what I was made of. I didn’t have all the language for it then, but I was doing exactly what Adlerian Psychology describes as finding the courage to change, one small choice at a time.
If patterns are surfacing that feel confusing, exhausting, or stuck, that’s not a flaw in you. It’s a signal, and these signals are the starting point for change.
At Chester County Well-Being, we work with young adults like yourself who are navigating the big transitions, the emerging self-awareness, and the courage it takes to do something different. Collaborating with a therapist is a way that many of our college-aged clients work through the underlying causes of anxiety, stress, and feeling depressed. We’d be honored to walk alongside you.
If you’d like to start your well-being journey with one of our compassionate clinicians, go ahead and check out our rates to see if your insurance will cover therapy sessions with us. I provide telepsychology services to clients who reside in a state that participates in PSYPACT. Find out if your state is on the list of participating states HERE.
We’re committed to keeping access open to all. That’s why we include a reduced rate option for those who may not qualify for mental health services due to misaligned and inequitable systems.
Related Resources
If you found this post helpful, here are more of our blog posts geared towards College-Age Students:
Social Media and Mental Health: Navigating Self-Diagnosis in the Digital Age
Why You Can’t Stop Stress Eating and How to Overcome Emotional Eating For Good
31 Powerful Journal Prompts to Reflect on Your Inner Dialogue
7 Tips to Thrive From College to the Workplace on the Autism Spectrum
How to Create Supportive Environments to Thrive Academically or Professionally with Autism
15 Dos and Don’ts For Setting Healthy Boundaries
How to Take Back Control of Your Life by Defining Your Story
Boost Your Confidence and Trust Yourself Through Client-Centered Therapy
7 Expert Tips to Manage Stress and Be Kinder With Yourself in a Life Transition
How Strength-Based Therapy Can Empower Your Path to Well-Being
*Disclaimer: The contents of this blog does not constitute a clinical relationship or replace the need for professional services.
Contact Us
Here at CCWB, we value our clients and acknowledge the courage it takes to seek professional mental health support.
Chester County Well-Being (CCWB) provides a range of mental health services to ensure we meet our community’s needs. We serve individuals, couples, and families in the Chester County area. Reach out to us here.
Our specializations include:
- AD/HD
- Therapy for Depression and Anxiety
- Work and Career issues
- Grief Counseling
- Stress Management
- Conflict Resolution
- Parenting Support
- Family Counseling
- Couples Counseling
- Addiction & Recovery
Get Teletherapy
All our clinicians provide safe and secure teletherapy sessions to anyone residing in PA. Additionally, we provide telehealth options for residents of other states, depending on the clinician. Simply head to our About Us page, and click each clinician’s “read more” tab for telehealth details.
Telepsychology services are provided by Dr. Kuangparichat to clients who reside in a state that participates in PSYPACT. Find out if your state is on the list of participating states HERE.
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About the Author
Malynn Kuangparichat, Psy.D., J.D. is founder and psychologist at Chester County Well-Being.
She has a collaborative approach that results in highly tailored evaluations intended to meet her clients’ unique needs. She focuses on an individual’s strengths, which are integrated in the practical, personalized recommendations identified by the findings of an evaluation.
In her free time, she enjoys running, spending time with family and friends, and getting ice cream or doughnuts from the local shops.